fast, quick rant. unedited. straight from my head to the box. entitled: "ive reached it"

If your sensitive to profanity DONT CONTINUE ON!

mother-effer I think I've reached the f!@#$% peak!
What is it? Week 3 of school and I'm already burnt out?
Was I delusional to think I could actually survive (as my friend put it) "academic suicide"
chem, bio, physics I can handle.. but I think I'm failing calculus. If I were doing calc alone than an A would be done done there.. but NO! how the ef am i suppose to distribute my time between these classes. I get home at like 10 everyday.. i already study on weekends but still, there's not enough time in the day, yet alone these 16 weeks to study for EVERYTHING. Seriously? This is the MOST stress I've ever been EVER and im NOT exaggerating. I would drop calculus like that if it weren't a corequisite for physics but damn.. i shouldn't be a quitter. What should I do? I'm tired of decisions, someone make one for me. I need some fast acting solution now! WHAT DO I DO? I seriously don't think I could do it. Just to be completely honest with myself, i really dont think i can & plus.. i don't want to risk getting a B, C, D in classes i could get an A in if my schedule wasn't this crazy. so give it to me. i need your help. i just dont know anymore. Sitting in calc till 10, i think it's safe to say that i've reached the peak of peaks of my stress level. seriously school. you suck! you will be my silent killer.

God, give me the strength.

my prayers.

Sometimes I feel that I've forgotten how to pray.
Not that actual act of conversating with God, but the sincerity in which I do it.
Everyday I pray the same prayer, so rehearsed, so routine...
Sometimes it feels so selfish because all I do is talk about myself, asking for favors and making requests.
There's just not enough thanking, not enough emotion, not enough thought. And this is where my problem comes into place.
Sometimes I feel that I am so undeserving of prayer and this direct connection I've been given, that I shouldn't pray.

Everyday he hears millons (maybe more)  of prayers, and all I wonder is how mine measures up to the rest .  I know he hears them all.. but sometimes I feel mine aren't good enough and that some are more deserving of his attention. My prayers = miniscule.

I want to be worthy of prayer.
& I think it's time to revamp and make a special effort to take time out of my busy schedule to just stop and pray.

 Freeze time & pray

God, teach me how to pray.