listen up.

um hi, hello... shes 12 and hes 14!

A God blessed talent.

swaggg for days.

i do.

about two weeks ago my sister and I went with the seamstress to buy fabric for the bridesmaids dresses, as well as for her wedding dress.

its so cute as to how a simple piece of fabric can mean so much. 

well anyways, I know I'm one of her sisters but her asking me to be one of the maid of honors just made my whole freaking day, life... 

I can't wait for her wedding now, or even the weeks coming up to it. 

Now i have to plan a bridal party, a bachelorette party (which btw: i will be old enough to attend [thank you Jesus for another year... I'll tell you guys about it later]) and a SPEECH! 

It's going to be the best wedding ever, kettle corn, churros, big white tent, crochet, photobooth.. so many picture opportunities!

anyways since i've been like at wedding things so much lately 

im just so much more in love with the aspect of marriage. 

so many pretty places, beautiful dresses, themes.. i love it all! 

anyways back to bio. so one day i can afford something for me :) 

happy sabbath!

I was blessed by today's message, given by my 3rd grade teachers son, Justin Khoe.

Whats in thine hand?
Whatever it may be, God can use it. Don't ever question His ability.

herro.

we roll DEEP! 

So... being that FAT ASSES that we are.. daniel & I went to boiling crab DOS veces within DOS weeks. hOmaaGOSH! Anyways, the second time was for a good cause = celebration for a cancelled bio. class && we took three first timers :):) yum yum yum i love food.

btw: pray for me, i have a runny nose & this is definitely NOT the week for my sickness to go full throttle. Being sick ain't the business and never ever will be the business.. so back the #$%^& up BRO!

21st tattoo.

I'm turning 21 and although 18 may mark adulthood, I think I've reached a new milestone in my life.

I've become wiser, stronger, better.

&I'm thinking of getting a tattoo. we'll see though, its an eternal commitment.

what do you think? 

yet again.

I said to myself, "It's Friday, idgaf"
but what I really should of said is, "It's Friday, time to rest and prepare for the Sabbath"

I fail over and over again.
when will I give my life to the one who gave me His.

I'm slowly drifting away & I really don't know if I have the strength to go back...
There's always something in the back of my mind discouraging me.

I have to remember that when all is good in Him
Life wont seem so hard.

I have to want it and make the change in order to get it.
Help me Lord.

shes so cute/good.

picture update.

its been so long. ive been so busy. hope everyone is doing swell! 

If you're wondering... all I've been doing is school&studying and I honestly don't really mind. It's more productive than anything else I would choose. HAHA. Hopefully all this hardwork and studying will pay of one day, someday. 

I've been eating so bad lately. What's to blame is this LAME school schedule. Drayson is no longer my bestfriend, I only eat what time permits me = FAST greasy, FAT food. Which only means that I too am fat :(. But starting today its all going to change. No longer will i sulk in my muffin top & thunder thighs.. I will make the change. 

Obviously Arizona is YUM, but I did my nails DUH! I was drinking, glanced from my nails to the can and from the can to my nails and i was like DAMN... that is SEXY! The can complimented it so well, that I just had to. I was so proud of my creation :) Now the reality of it is the chipping nail polish which I'm too lazy to fix. 

After 2 years of having my corolla with only that many miles, i am sad to say that it's gone. I'm not embarrassed to say it because every family has their problems..  but my family went through a really hard financial situation. I cried a little, my parent's cried a little, & we were all extremely disheartened. I miss my car SOOO much (sometimes i whimper in bed dreaming about it), but at the end of the day, its a material thing & an intact family is all that matters. We'll get by because God's on our side. 

For my biology class we got to go to the SD Zoo for the amazing price of $7. Honestly, it was a pointless BIO field trip because there was hardly an educational reason behind it (or maybe its because i wasn't listening). I felt like a kid again... a field trip just for fun. :) I saw this amazing creature.. I think he was my favorite. After 2 hrs with the teacher, we had the rest of the day to do whatever. Unfortunately we couldnt stay because....

Right after the zoo...Daniel & I went to Vegas this passed weekend so we could get married. HAHA jk, we attended his cousins wedding. The ceremony was at Mandalay Bay, the reception was at Caesar's Palace, the after party was at the Cosmopolitan, and we stayed at the Luxor. It was so exhausting & all I did was EAT. I am not over exaggerating when I say "I gained at least 3lbs". Vegas is filled with way more than the 7 deadly sings, but I fell prey to one GLUTTONY. Overall, Vegas was...interesting. It's actually really fun & nice in its own way. haha.

Anyways, BACK TO SCHOOL. <3

I miss everyone...

music will never die.

The guy in the video puts it best "if you've ever had a broken heart you're about to remember it now" so much passion, emotion..... ahhh, she's amazing!

 her voice is just as heart-filled and beautiful. 

taking it back! here's something to cheer you up and make you smile/dance a little :) 

:/

i think my family needs your prayers more than ever.

...my parents are my world and they deserve everything and more.
so unselfish, always putting everyone first....

help us please.

fast, quick rant. unedited. straight from my head to the box. entitled: "ive reached it"

If your sensitive to profanity DONT CONTINUE ON!

mother-effer I think I've reached the f!@#$% peak!
What is it? Week 3 of school and I'm already burnt out?
Was I delusional to think I could actually survive (as my friend put it) "academic suicide"
chem, bio, physics I can handle.. but I think I'm failing calculus. If I were doing calc alone than an A would be done done there.. but NO! how the ef am i suppose to distribute my time between these classes. I get home at like 10 everyday.. i already study on weekends but still, there's not enough time in the day, yet alone these 16 weeks to study for EVERYTHING. Seriously? This is the MOST stress I've ever been EVER and im NOT exaggerating. I would drop calculus like that if it weren't a corequisite for physics but damn.. i shouldn't be a quitter. What should I do? I'm tired of decisions, someone make one for me. I need some fast acting solution now! WHAT DO I DO? I seriously don't think I could do it. Just to be completely honest with myself, i really dont think i can & plus.. i don't want to risk getting a B, C, D in classes i could get an A in if my schedule wasn't this crazy. so give it to me. i need your help. i just dont know anymore. Sitting in calc till 10, i think it's safe to say that i've reached the peak of peaks of my stress level. seriously school. you suck! you will be my silent killer.

God, give me the strength.

my prayers.

Sometimes I feel that I've forgotten how to pray.
Not that actual act of conversating with God, but the sincerity in which I do it.
Everyday I pray the same prayer, so rehearsed, so routine...
Sometimes it feels so selfish because all I do is talk about myself, asking for favors and making requests.
There's just not enough thanking, not enough emotion, not enough thought. And this is where my problem comes into place.
Sometimes I feel that I am so undeserving of prayer and this direct connection I've been given, that I shouldn't pray.

Everyday he hears millons (maybe more)  of prayers, and all I wonder is how mine measures up to the rest .  I know he hears them all.. but sometimes I feel mine aren't good enough and that some are more deserving of his attention. My prayers = miniscule.

I want to be worthy of prayer.
& I think it's time to revamp and make a special effort to take time out of my busy schedule to just stop and pray.

 Freeze time & pray

God, teach me how to pray.

nostalgic.

This song brings me back to the winter of 2009 in Redlands, CA. 

It's so crazy how songs take you back to a certain place in time. 

ps: keep it up, keep on praying. 

just wait until it feels like this.

love.

this nigga:
my study buddy
my gas
my heart
my m*thaf*ckin one & only who accepts me for my stanks.
his armpits smell divine, wanna bet?
&thats why ive loved and still love..
he keeps me going, going, going, and going
tis' all

word: we work because we don't let time dictate what we have, we just go with it. 

"it" = our hearts. 

CORNY? yea, love is corny. 

i can.

So, I am currently sitting at Starbucks right now. Although I unfortunately don't have class on Saturday, school will be my everyday. Daniel brought to my attention that this is the "the end of life" or as I'd like to say "only the beginning" of my six year journey to receiving my doctorate in Pharmacy. Wow, I have some ways to go, but I can and I will.

Reading bio whilst listening to Starbucks music:

its public but personal.

I love blogspot for the reason that I'm able to be updated with my friends lives on a more personal level PLUS everything's so much more sincere, meaningful and from the heart. Sometimes it's just easier to do this here.

On that note, everyone's posts sound like were all receiving our own share of trials (whatever it may be) but we mustn't forget... we're all here to uplift & be here for each other..regardless of what it is! :)

Love, Lee

full of waaaaaaaahs.

So I unknowingly, until the last minute, found out I had class this past Monday. It was such a terrible way to end my summer.

This semester will be the worst I've had yet, and for this reason I ask for your prayers to get me through the exams, quizzes, and the longest days of my life for the next four months. Just so you all have an idea of what my life will be like for this duration, here it is: 

Monday

Physics Lecture 11:10 - 12:05 

OChem Lecture 12:45 - 2:10 

OChem Lab 2:20 - 5:30 

Tuesday

Biology 10:15 - 12:20 

Calculus Lab 6:15 - 7:05 

Calculus Lecture 7:15 - 9:20 

Wednesday

Physics Lecture 11:10 - 12:05

OChem Lecture 12:45 - 2:10

OChem Lab 2:20 - 5:30 

Physics Lab 6:00 - 9:10 

Thursday

Biology Lecture 10:15 - 12:20 

Biology Lab 2:20 - 5:35

Calculus Lecture 7:15 - 9:20 

Friday
Physics Lecture 11:10 - 12:05

Not only does this mean utter DEATH and DEATH, it means school will be my home, I will have no life, and no time for anything else...like my precious Drayson = me fat. I just hope it goes by quick so I could see my friends again. Speaking of friends, yet another one is on the verge of leaving, I love you Heather Yegge, but I hate this shit, excuse my English ^_-.
Anyways, sad days ahead, but I will push hard to reach the LIGHT at the end of the tunnel. There's so much to look forward to...

Remember: God really hears our prayers, so talk to him often. He'll be a friend, a mentor, .. whatever you need. Tell Him about me, and I'll tell Him about you :)

Note to Him: Love you Lord, don't think I'll be able to do this without You, and because I have you I know all things are possible and that I can do it with what little hope I have in myself. Please uplift & make me believe ... because my unbelief is so great :( 

untitled.

note to self.

sometime in the near future im going to do something really artsy fartsy.

btw: God is so good ALL the time, He always finds a way to provide for me and to Him I am eternally grateful. I love you Lord, amen.

i believe.

letters to juliet.

just finished watching it.
love stories are so whack, but man how they always get me!

recap.

YESTERDAY: 

-Zari & I ran to each other in the scorching heat, met half way, ran back to her house, picked up our turkey sandwiches/bathing suits and headed back to auntie Beths.

THERE:

- We watched a Filipino movie "In the Name of Love"

AFTER:

-Picked up Kaedem in Zari's "new car" ..."my corolla can beat your corolla" 

AFTER, AFTER:

-Washed my BABY and now my car is TIP TOP clean (inside & out), I think I need a welcome mat in front of all 4 doors so people can wipe their feet before entering. HAHA JK! 

UNFORTUNATELY:

-Open Mic Night, "NOT Tonight"

SO:

-I ran 3 miles/ lifted at the gym ALONE :/ 

-Protein, eat, shower 

& ENDED THE NIGHT WITH:

-Heather's house: So its only us 4 now (Heather, Sabrina, Daniel, me), our group has drastically shrunken, but we still know how to have fun. It took us an hour to find a movie and we finally decided to watch "Oceans 11" (because Daniel has never seen it, can you believe that?!) All of us, with the exception of Daniel, were fighting to keep our eyes open... which is expected because it was 1 in the morning. Thank you Heath <3 

'tis all. 

!@#$%^&*. r a n t.

A year ago I wrote a blog about not knowing what I was passionate about... but now, I have a better idea of who I am.

Everyone's doing something amazing and to that I say, "It's my turn!"

I'm not meant to just be here... I'm here for something bigger than this.

I don't know if this career path I'm aiming for is "THE ONE", but what I do know is that I'm passionate about traveling & helping others. There has to be a career in that somewhere! 

nonprofit organizations, traveling to countries where help is needed, meeting people from all walks of life, photographing/writing about their lives and sharing it with others (journalism??).. I feel this is my calling and this is what I'm destined to do. 

BUT unfortunately, it's not that easy. 

I have parent's who have raised me to want these things but at the same time want me to pursue a career in the medical field (where a successful career is secured & $$$ income will never fail). 

I owe it to them to finish and once I do,  it'll be my turn to fulfill these passions. Aside from this, I'll have the cha-ching to to actually get "work" done MY WAY!!!

Pharmacy now... dreams second?
Make my parents happy first...and me second?
Nonetheless, my dreams will come true & I will live a fulfilled life :) 

Advice: just be in love with what you do. 

summer.

It's been a beautiful summer filled with beautiful places and beautiful people. I WONT forget anything; especially the friendships that have blossomed. Now I'm grateful I met Daniel even MORE.

try, try again.

you try to stop.
you try and forget.
you pretend, but it eats you inside.

so you try, try again... to stop, to forget and just pretend.

issues too great for tissues -_- prayer is always key.

back to blogspot.